The Triple Whammy



So I don’t know if it was the Parkinson’s, or just that I am…No I can’t say it.

We had just gotten back a few hours ago from visiting one of our daughters.
We had a great trip. We hiked, relaxed on the beach, or should I admit we all napped on the beach. We dined on Thai food on one night, and sat out under the stars on a beautiful patio with our own space heater the other night. (Ahhh space heaters! How do I love thee, let me count the ways).

Alas, now it was time to return to reality. We made the five hour drive home in about 7 hours.  After all, this is California.

Our luggage and all our paraphernalia from the trip was now piled in a heap just inside the garage door. I am one of those people who have to unpack immediately. So in 15 minutes – all the bags are emptied and put away, the first load of wash has already begun, I am unpacking my blush, eyeliner, dental floss, toothbrush, make up remover, etc; throwing things in drawers, cabinets…and back on the counter from whence they came.

Now the one thing I haven’t been able to find is my glasses. (I have three pairs of glasses. One for long distance – I use them when I am driving which is not too often anymore; then I have poker glasses – for reading the suits on the cards; and I also have regular reading glasses for reading everything else).

I’d like to know where it is stated that everything listed on the side of a package, box, bottle or whatever you get at the market, has to be written in a font so small that only Lilliputians can read it. Poor Gulliver, he would really be so up a creek without a paddle! So anyway….that’s whammy one for me.

Additionally, on the sides of two different bottles of my medication it says the same thing: “may cause blurred vision”. That’s whammy two for me. (I actually was able to read that one because at the time – I could find my glasses).

A little side note: did you know that glasses are herding creatures. I buy lots of readers and try to leave one in each room. But after a day or two, they have all herded together in one room. At least that’s what they do at my house.

Anyway…last but not least – I am….I am…..Oh I can’t say it. You’ll have to drag it out of me.
Arrghhhhh! OK, I give up! I Am Getting Older! All right I said it! And that’s the big Whammy three!

But you want to hear the clincher? This beats it all. I really better find my glasses quickly, because that night…when I was unpacking – after I was done taking my makeup off…I realized I had been washing my face with a feminine wipe.

Don’t even ask!

Hey wipe that smile off your face!

3 thoughts on “The Triple Whammy

  1. OMG…..I so relate and I’m right there with ya sista! I wear multifocal contacts (1 for reading and close, 1 for distance) . So of course my regular sunglasses will work with them; however at work some of the documentation I do after 10 hours of seeing patients is just too tedious for contacts, so I keep reading glasses at work to wear over the contacts. Keep reading glasses on the coffee table at home for small print mail, magazines, newspaper, etc too.

    If I forgo the contacts and wear my regular glasses then of course I have to count on prescription sunglasses which I keep in the car….hopefully they made it back to the car after their last use. And the bifocol part of my glasses is not always strong enough so I pull them down on my nose, tilt my head, hold the paper 5″ from my face and read the small print with my naked eyes……OUCH my neck!!!

    Well at least we’re all getting older together and now I can look forward to the day I remove my makeup with a femine wipe… God bless you Morgan.

    A blessing to be able to travel to see your daughter…….claim that victory girl!

    Lisa Dunlop


  2. Great hearing from you Lisa. Going to be in Texas in July. I don’t know how close but maybe we can meet for a cup of tea.


  3. This post is so funny, Morgan. For a time, I lived in a studio apartment, had 6-count them, 6 pairs of readers and could not find even one for a full hour. I guess they were hanging out at a singles bar with my socks from the dryer.

    Your birthday isn’t listed on Facebook, but every April 18th since we were best friends in high school, I think of you. Right now I am doubting my memory and waffling – March 18th… April 18th. Whichever it is, I am wishing you a Happy Birthday today and every one that was in between.



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