I wanted to play in a satellite tournament yesterday and try to win my way into a much bigger tournament. But of course The Beast had to put his two cents in. I needed to be up and out of the house early for this one, but I have been a bit ill lately, and my meds have not been helping like they should in battling The Beast. And I had a terrible night sleep, thanks once again to The Beast. And I mean thanks to The Beast in the most unthankful way you can imagine. But I will stop there because somebody’s mother once said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  So when my alarm rang, I turned it off like I normally do. Took my pills like I normally do. Said to myself  “Let’s get going, got some cards to play today.” But I couldn’t muster myself up to get going. It takes awhile now for the medicine to build up in my body in the mornings. Not the spring chicken I once was. Actually not the spring anything I once was.

I am now starting to channel Shakespeare. “Out damn Beast. Out I say”.

A few hours later I finally get to the point where I think I can do it. I go upstairs, get dressed, and find the right hat…very important. Find a different tournament to play since I have missed the first one…pack all the junk I need to schlep with me to go out for the day…kiss my husband goodbye (he can’t drive me today), call Uber and head out the door.

I am feeling very shaky today. I hate that the Beast is stripping away my confidence daily.
I am missing Bessie and the old me.

I get to the tournament. I am starving. You just can’t pull over in an Uber and get french fries and eat them on your way,

So I arrive at the casino, buy into the tournament, order some food and get myself all set up.
I sit down, pick up my cards and the zen begins…

Tournament players 163. I make the money – 11th place.

I find myself thinking of my Mother who looked at things differently. She would’ve said: “If you don’t have anything nice to say… Tell the Beast to Fuck Off !!! “